One of the problems many fledgeling authors (me included) have is to -- tell a story rather than showing it through the eyes and feelings of the characters. It's much easier to write: 'He was angry.' than to write: 'His jaw muscle tightened as he clenched and unclenched his fists. His eyes squinted, telecasting lightening bolts toward the bully.'

Authors sometimes want to get on with the story and the action. So it's easier to tell the reader what we know the character feels. We do a disservice to the reader by doing this -- not to mention the insult to their intelligence. Every time I catch myself telling a reader how my character feels or his emotional state, I try to go back over it and feel what he might feel and describe it. If I can tell how I feel when terrorized, I should be able to show the reader by describing the physical manifestations of that terror.

Telling: 'He felt sick'
Showing: 'The contents of his stomach roiled like a breaking wave over a coral  bed. He fought the purge as bile rose in his throat.'

Telling: 'I knew the mugger was about to shoot.'
Showing: 'I saw the pupils of the mugger's eyes dilate and a muscle twitching just below his jaw. My eyes shifted to the hand holding the gun. It quivered when the finger tensed against the trigger.'

Telling: 'The suspect lied.'
Showing: The suspect paused. His eyes shifted ever so slightly to the right for a brief second before his face relaxed with new-found confidence. He was about to lie.'

Telling: 'He was going to run.'
Showing: He shifted his weight to his right foot. the muscles in his forearm tightened. 'Run or punch? I didn't know. I didn't wait to find out. I lurched a shoulder into his chest, wrapping my arms around both of his. We tumbled to the ground'

These examples may not be the best, and in rewrite, I might do them differently but the attempt is to show the reader how characters act, react, and display their emotions rather than simply tell how they feel or think. Below I have included an excerpt of my new novel OUTLAWS. Please read it and tell me how I did.

 The village—what little there was of it—sat quietly with its usual deserted appearance. Only a few scattered homes dotted the isolated road angling off of the main highway. The road paralleled the highway for about a mile before curving back into it. The general store occupied the land opposite the homes with nothing but fenced pasture down to Route 35. Josh turned the team from the highway onto the road running through the settlement. He looked up. The sun, higher now, promised a warm day.
He pulled the Belgians to a stop in the empty parking area of Ross’s store, hopped down from the seat, stretched his lanky frame, and adjusted his hat further back on his head. Beau woofed at no one in particular.
“Hush, Beau. You’re disturbing the peace. You’ll get us arrested.” He grinned at the dog.
Beau stopped barking, but continued a muted growl of protest.
“Don’t argue with me. And stay here…” Josh smiled. “And don’t you go chasing any cats.”
Beau looked at him, but continued a low throaty snarl. Josh shook his head.
Josh entered the store and looked for Ross behind the counter. He wasn’t there.
Odd.
“Hey, Ross, you got paying customers on the premises. Get your lazy butt out here and pop me a cold one before I take my business to the next town.”
No reply.
“Ross…?”
Josh stopped and listened. Something didn’t feel right. He looked around the store. Darker than usual. No lights on. Only ambient light from the windows. He heard muted music from the back of the store where Ross lived, but it wasn’t country, and Ross always listened to country music. He turned toward Ross’s quarters.
Josh’s sphincter muscles tightened as icicles crept up his spinal cord.
 Something's definitely wrong.

Ex-cop Josh Grant chooses to live as a recluse in the mountains of Idaho as penance for failing to protect his murdered wife and child in Detroit. His new serenity is shattered when he stumbles onto the murder of his only friend and an assault of his friend’s daughter, Jolene. By saving Jolene, Josh angers the Outlaws, a gang of vicious bikers. When they seek revenge, Josh must draw on old skills to keep himself and Jolene alive.

Available at Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/Outlaws-ebook/dp/B0084FANZ0/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1338207121&sr=1-1

Available at Musa Publishing: www.musapublishing.com/

Contact me at: www.facebook.com/?sk=app_2309869772

Follow me at: http://copwriter.blogspot.com/

I've always known that writing is not difficult. One simply thinks of a story, gets into the head of the main character and lets the story unfold. The brain transfers thoughts to the fingers and the story appears on the screen and later paper. After a while we all read back over what we have written, make some changes, add a few more details for clarity, and maybe even go a different direction. Sometimes the story peters out and it is either put aside or trashed. All that is easy.

The difficulty begins when we think the story has merit. Then we have to work at it to make it interesting to others. We have to consider: settings, scenes, characters, plots and sub plots, how to develop tension that moves the story toward the crisis, how that crisis will be resolved and where and how the story will end. An author must actually exercise his brain for this step but it's not hard work.

The steps become more and more difficult as the work progresses. Once a novel has taken shape the editing process begins. The author must consider strong verb choices and how to avoid using the same verbs and adjectives over and over. He has to keep the dialogue within the persona of the characters and actually change voices for the different characters. Metaphors and similes for mood and emotions must be developed that are not cliches. Punctuation and spelling must be meticulously honed for clarity and readability. Each sentence must be examined to make sure it says exactly what the author wants and to assure the same information is not repeated. Each sentence must come from either the thoughts, actions, or voice of the characters. The author should not talk to the audience.

The real painful work comes after the story is written and honed. Writing a query letter of three paragraphs and less than 300 words that still tells the story in a way that interests an agent or editor is like pulling your own teeth. A one page synopsis showing the entire book is even more difficult.

The stage of novel development that may be the most painful for an author is what happens after the initial ego rush of being published. Writers write. But with the ever changing market place for novels today, many novels are being published by smaller publishing companies with limited promotional budgets. Much of the marketing of a new novel is left up to the author. Most authors are ill equipped to skillfully handle that task easily.

The rocky road to publishing

Many people have asked me: How did you get published? Your writing is no better and in some cases not as good as some of the people in your writing group.

Well part of the answer is that many of them are also published authors. The other part is the luck of finding a relatively new publisher who liked my story. And lastly the group of writers at IWW helped make the manuscript much more salable. So for all you fledgling authors out there, let me urge you to join a writers group where you submit your work for criticism and offer criticism of others work. The learning process is rapid and invaluable.

As to my particular case after completing six novel length manuscripts (some submitted to publishing houses and some not), and having received enough rejection slips to wallpaper my entire house, I almost gave up. But I couldn’t stop writing. It is my therapy.  So I joined a writers group — Internet Writers Workshop — to be exact. Slowly but surely, thanks to the guidance of the other authors on the site, I began to learn how to write more effectively and more efficiently. Prior to that, I was simply a story teller, emphasis on the telling part. Literally (my first big obstacle to overcome), I told readers my stories. I told them what was happening. I told them what my characters felt. I told them what my characters thought, and I literally told them what was going to happen. Boring.

My dialogue has always been fairly strong so that was a good thing. But I had to learn to get inside the head of my characters and SHOW how they felt, what they thought, what they saw and how it affected them.

I had to learn to use active and varied verbs. I had to learn not to use adverbs and not too many adjectives. I had to learn to eliminate filters (explanations) in my sentences. I had to learn plots and subplots and how to always move the characters toward accomplishing the goal of the plot.

After all that, I wrote much better. I began thinking maybe some of it was worth trying to get published. My first attempts sent off to the large publishing houses resulted is a new batch of rejections. Then I had to start the learning process all over — writing the dreaded query letter.  After more than a hundred attempts and as many criticisms, I settled on one. Using several sites on the internet for addresses (both email and snail mail), I first submitted my query to agents since that is the best way to get published with one of the bigger publishers. I had a few interested in that endeavor, but no takers.

All the while this learning curve and publishing quest was developing; I continued to tweak my current novel — OUTLAWS. I soon found that one must have a recognizable name, some newsworthy event, be an established author, or write a truly wonderful story as with J.K. Rawlings, (and even then there’s no assurances) to even get a look from the large publishers.

Through sites like Predators and Editors on the internet I discovered a growing group of small publishers who were most likely to accept new authors. Many of the small houses publish only e-books. I had never considered that avenue. I thought a book had to be published in paper before it was converted to an electronic book.

I started subbing my query letter in earnest. How shocked (conditioned to rejections) I was when a publisher asked for a three chapter sample of my novel. Two weeks later they asked for the entire novel. Two weeks after that they offered me a publishing contract.

Of course with every jubilant moment there’s always a smack down. That publisher went belly up due to poor management in a down economic trend. I started the subbing process all over again. After several query letters were sent out into cyberspace I received another request for three chapters. Shortly after that, a request for the entire manuscript. Somebody watches over us fools and dreamers. When that publisher sent me a contract, the managing editor attached a note: Didn’t I offer you a contract when I was with Aspen Mountain Press? Yes she had. Since the demise of Aspen Mountain she had set up her own publishing company and was well on her way to becoming a powerhouse small publishing firm.

Since that time, it’s been back to the learning process. Writing tag lines for the novel, writing blurbs to attract buyers, writing an excerpt from an exciting part of the novel. Then going through the process of cover design with the staff artist and deciding what best describes what’s inside the book. Then the editing with one of the publishers staff editors. They actually want you to cut out a lot of your wonderful words and rewrite whole sections. It’s painful — but not deadly.

So after I finished writing OUTLAWS in May of 2010 and going through all the steps listed above, the novel will finally be released on May 18 2012. Two years after writing. I have no idea how long it took to write the book but I know it has gone through hundreds of rewrites and tweaks. One would have to be a J.K.Rawlings to even come close to making enough money to pay for all those hours. But that’s not why we do it. We writers simply can’t stop writing.

Bill

OUTLAWS Published

After wringing my hands since Musa Publishing announced the release of my new novel, Outlaws on May 18, 2012, I finally saw it up for sale on Amazon kindle books on May 22, 2012.
Now If I could just figure out a valid marketing strategy I might sell more than ten copies to my family and friends. Hence I'm starting a new blog. I have guest blogged on several other blog sites and now it's time to start my own.